Step 1 – Reevaluate my priorities… Well at least think about them, identify them, and organize them. Part 1

Truth be told I am as flighty as a hummingbird.  I go through ideas, hopes, dreams, goals and hobbies quickly.  Depending on the day of the week, I don’t even know what my goals are in life!  I know that I love my son.  I love my fiancé.  I love my family.  It brings me joy to work with kids.  I like my job, and coaching cheerleading and do hair and scrapbook and, most of all, be with friends, laugh and smile.   But where do I want to end up in life?  Literally….

My sister seems to have it all.  She has a lovely house, an amazing husband and son.  She moved away from us to further their careers.  I’d still like to kick her for that!  But she has an awesome job.  Although, she would probably say I’m exaggerating.  Still, I have fun telling people what she and her husband do for a living.  Face it – I’m a proud baby sister.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about running away to my sister’s house  I will get the most amazing dream job at an exclusive salon, making enough money that my family can live the life just like her.  My fiancé will find his dreams.  My son will fit in perfectly at the most exclusive school and have the coolest friends that any mother would love.  Have you started laughing yet?  I have.  I think they call this a “pipe dream.”  And the second flaw… I’m the baby.  I’ve always lived in my brother and sisters’ shadows.  I have become my own person, with my own friends and hobbies and hangouts.  Why would I give that up?  Oh, I remember now… Northwestern Pennsylvania in the winter!  I hate snow!

How about going to visit my awesome friend in Florida and just staying?  Beach, palm trees, sun and fun…  Now that is living!  I could find a job as a paralegal down there and ….  OH WAIT!  Do I really want my son to leave everything he knows – his grandparents, his school, his youth group, his friends?  This small town atmosphere is something that I am proud to have been brought up in and that is why I returned here to raise my child.

No matter how much I plan on running away, I will always end up quoting Dorothy.  “There is no place like home.”   How about, “Home is where the heart is.”  (There are a ton of quotes.)

So again, I was having coffee with Mom.  She had just bought a Powerball ticket.  We were talking about all the what-if’s.  It’s fun to dream.  And yet again, she was the reason for my moment of clarity – my next dream.  No.  My next goal!  Someday I’m going to buy a farm! Yes! A farm!  With horses, so my mom and I can ride together.

If I’m going to have a farm, it needs to be an awesome farm.  You can’t go halfway on an idea this big.  Horses are fun, but I was taught that everything on a farm has a purpose.  I’m going to have a farm like the one I lived on when I was a child.  Those were the memories.  I’m going to have chickens (and guinea hens, my mother added) and a garden and a beef cow and a pig and…. A GOAT!  The chickens will lay eggs. The garden will grow veggies.  Again, the chickens (and guinea hens, says mom) for eating the bugs in the garden.  The cow and pig for meat.  And the goat?  ‘Cause I like them! Oh, and goat milk.  We can have goat milk, and goat cheese, and goat soap and I’m sure there are a million reasons to have goats on a farm.  That’s it!  I’m going to have a GOAT farm!  Goats have very yummy milk and it’s great for lactose intolerant people.  That will be our money maker.

My mind was going a billion miles a minute.  I had so many ideas.  But the best part was I would still be where my son loves to be.  I would be where my fiancé loves to be.  I would be close to my parents.  I would be able to continue to coach.  I would have joy in my life if I just had a farm!